MJS Creative Landing

Evening comes before morning in the first book of the bible so night comes before day darkness comes before dawn earth covers seed before emergence sight hampered yet vision steady hesitant but propelled nonetheless something will give inertia sudden or eventually Water flows but when stagnant recomposes nothing still for long disappear is just a myth stories myth as well only truth in constant only new is old

There will come a day very soon where I will be able to delete all emails pertaining to job searches. I will be delighted to place that check mark in all those boxes on gmail, yahoo, and whatever else. I will be delighted to close all those tabs of websites offering up their wears, their various and sundry. Oh to have a day where my web browser has only 4 of 5 open tabs.  The day where the other web browser has 7 or 8 will be grand. The day where I might not have to go back to firefox over safari or chrome because this web browser cannot handle this web service or web content or pop-up or whatever else is keeping progress from unfolding, that day will be grand. How joyous the day will be to be free to wander about the world wide web without that particular intent. Yes, I will be glad.

Venus was the youngest child of the Chapa family. They lived two blocks up. You had to get to Reynolds then to 15th Street from where I lived in the middle of the block of 14th Street to get to her house. It was a wood framed craftsman 2 story home. It all looked very wood-y to me. Tall ceilings and a wooden staircase met you at the door. This day I knocked. Venus' sister let me in. I remember blue walls in the living room or maybe it was the bedroom upstairs that Venus' brother's had. Her brother's bedroom looked out onto the street. Venus' name was Alvina. We called her Venus. I met her in the first grade. We were 6 years old. Her parents would let me in to their home when I ran away from the people in my house. It was easy to runaway at 6. At Venus' house I remember her papa sitting on the floor in the living room with me and Venus. We were playing pick up sticks. This game with these sticks in a tube that were all different colors was aimed at the players us

  All during my sleep these 8 hours passed I could think of nothing but Vegetable Ice Cream. Don't ask me why. It just was recurring. I dreamed that I was in this shop that was off the side of the road. It was a shop attached to another shop. They were both old school made of wood. They looked like rehabbed shacks. I grabbed a giant frozen kale leaf with blue kale green kale hints. I was munching on it and looking around. I asked the young black man sitting behind a counter how much was the kale I had? He said 60.00. I didn't spit the kale out in shock to that ridiculous price. Though, I wanted to, I just kept crunching on it. There where containers of other frozen sheets of all sorts of vegetables. The people I went in with were friends of mine and my sister. They lived in Houston. It was Tim, Jackie (they are married), me and my sister. We are all looking around. Then it hit me! Where is the vegetable ice cream. Since this store was full of sheet slices of vegetables in conta

Finding new gadgets to use for weary backs is a joy. I picked this shoehorn up from IKEA a few years back. Just recently I have began to use it when I put on my running or yard work shoes. It is one of the best things since sliced bread. My foot glides down the tool and floats into my shoe. When the job is accomplished, I always have a sense of joy. It is often the little things. Don't overlook the little things.

 I have a lover of my soul,  a caretaker and a way maker,  a gentle giant, a king maker,  a soul provider, a sit be-sider,  a place of rest, absorbs my stress,  sees me at my lows and at my best,  let's me pitch fits, and mends He'll stitch,  corrects in love, rules from above,  will not let me slip, my ways be fixed,  exchanges my debts for forgiveness,  aids me to tolerate,  be kind and generate  long sufferings and well earned fates  and then leads me to contemplate. I sit still and in the morning we relate and I wait. My steps are ordered I'm safe and loved well all opposed to goodness, grace and mercy He does reveal.  I can come from among them I can run to His shelter, I can hide under His Wings I can do all things. Though Christ who Strengthens me.

Strung over a vast cavern and tethered by the grip of tall oaks I trust I can step out onto it but can I have that same energy when a third way through ten meters or at the half way mark? In whom do I trust at those moments? Surely the winds are not at my control. They do not answer to me. Surely those whom the air was meant for fleet of wing and abled flight I do not rule over those who rule the air. The thunder clouds or scorching heat the elements whose dominion far exceeds the lives of men or beast Is it I who dares to think that I move about with a greater trust a strong belief or unmerited vestige where choice and feat meet? Destiny is gentle, slow, and faster than an arrow but it comes. Is this the day? For sure everyday. It is everyday.

 EXT: Street Corner about noon. James Peters sits with blanket over his shoulders and a small sign. HELP HOMELESS. He looks left and right as people pass. He has a coffee container in his hand. He rattles the loose change around as people pass. James (Woman drops in coins)                                                                                      Thanks... Thank ya... James (Man hands him a sandwich as James turns it back and forth and then tosses  it in his small basket with his other items) Jeezzz... (40ish man leans down in a crouch and hands James a large sandwich) Man Got ya this from the bakery, man! Here. (James takes the item and turns and peers into the man's face and nods and haphazard approval) James Yeah, man... umm... (Man rises and begins to leave) James Con'd Man does not live by bread alone! But yeah... thanks! (James rattles his coffee can in annoyance) Man (Smiles and keeps walking down the street as he puts his hands in his jacket pocket) James (Pla

Put my butt in the seat and get to writing feeling like piano playing sometimes when I'm typing The beat and the rhythm sometimes has to be ran back but when it's actually flowin' it is tat to da tat tat And I am cool with that Promised I'd write everyday well maybe not a promise but a commitment anyway so this day I was reluctant wanted to cop out wanted an excuse perhaps the weather or the nip in the air the reasons the reason are always never much at all they never manifest reasons are never real with flesh and bone with lines or designs with feels and flows with riffs and rhymes Naked but unseen See I put those reasons in their place and now there are these words written for anyone to see if they so choose see that?!! It only took  a minute or two

Tinnie Weinee is the name of my mother's 1/4 Jack Russell Terrier and 3/4 Doxie. She loves to snuggle with me when she is over. She smells like "old poor people." She isn't dirty. She just can't afford to shop for thing that are not of absolute necessity. I try to give this 8 year old tiny dog a bath when I can when she is over. When snuggling she attempts to slowly creep further and further toward my face to sneak a quick lick of my face. I avoid this like all get out. I do not actively allow dogs to lick me on any part of my body,- especially the face. But I like her a lot. Except when she pees all over my hardwood floor because she has the highest levels of anxiety of any dog I have even had the pleasure of being around.

Almost over! Yes, this storm faces the light at the end of the tunnel.  Literal light. Sun light.  High light. Weather day highs and clear weather nights.  As bleak as it is the days to come will be brighter.  The days to come will bring budding tress, blooming flowers, and growing green blades of St. Augustine. The slow slush of ice and melting snow makes way for increased speeds. Cars will once again elbow one another jockeying for position for the two block stretch between green lights too soon turning yellow flights. Once again noises can careen from the event center across the street. Those echoed voices from the block will be less amplified for the deaden void is alive. Where problems rose to evident themselves returns absentminded dithering and mindless progress unfocused on the threat just ahead. No one will think as much as they thought the week before. No one will be so presently cognizant. But somehow they and we will be alright. It's gone be alright.

July 5, 2019 was the last day I held a full-time job. It came with a bi-weekly paycheck. It was a 30k a year job. It had awful managers' of people. It had shady business practices. It served seniors with too much money, too much vanity and not enough sense. You know when you are in a place where everyone is too smart for their own good. This place is hell for a progressive, moral compassed, soul seeking person to serve and who is unashamed of justice and calm. So in 5 more months it will have been 2 years of basically very little employment income. How have I done it? Well, I drove Uber for a few months in 2019. I fled to Virginia and ended up there during the onset of the pandemic. My cousin generously gave me a few thousand dollars. I withdrew 7,000.00 from Edward Jones Retirement in January 2020 before Covid-19 hit. I did three weeks of part-time temp work for a preschool in Virginia Beach, March 2020. I got back to Texas late April 2020 and applied for unemployment. Thankfully

My house sits down at the bottom of a hill next to a busy vein that runs from Franklin Avenue to Park Lake Drive. The 25th Street Corridor in perhaps about 3 miles or so. I live three blocks from where it begins. At the 3rd block is a decent to a 500 year flood plane. It is the second light on this mostly one way trip. Only the last mile is two way. All Valentine's Day and President's Day I would scurry from one end of my porch railing to the other watching the cars and trucks either make it up the hill from where my house sits to the next block named Columbus Avenue. From Washington Avenue, the block I am situated to Columbus Avenue is the upside of the incline from the flood plane. Franklin Avenue to Austin Avenue is the downhill portion where many vehicles increase speed in an attempt to make the Austin and Washington stop lights. So, here in lies the problems. It is iced and snowed over and the tempuratures are in the teens. As the vehicles choose between speed and caution

What things attack my standards What things attack my stability What are those things that sting so viciously the ones that pierce to marrow deeper than bone The ones that unbeknownst I've known find ways to keep destroying me what utter deeds beset my feet my soul cries boldly but silently I hang my head for its too much too deep the years the tears cannot rebuff and yet a purpose interrupts I get a glimpse of  both of us Though disappointment constantly a part of my inheritance but learned that those who disappoint were merely divine  design to hollow out to chip and mould and knock off stuff the dross does rise when heated up the smelt the smell of flesh corrupt what crucible entangled me it was my future now plain to see I give praise now to all those "things" who once considered unredeemed they were the tools the Most High used creating me as beautiful to stand an witness frail but brave the Potter's hand did well engrave and now I love all those who from past fr

Jesus was not recorded as writing anything noteworthy; however, Jesus stooped down in the sand and wrote something with his finger. Writing something with your finger in the sand is a sure sign that it is not written in stone. What a powerful sign of grace. What is not written in stone for the woman who was caught in the middle of committing adultery, was indeed written by the Son of God in the sand. How great is the One who does not hold our sins against us. Who, after writing "something" in the sand, stood erect  and said unto "them," -- Let him who has not sinned cast the first stone. Then He stoop and stood a second time and no one was there to blame her. Yes there is law Yes Christ fulfilled the law Yes Christ died to save Yes We are saved because of God's Grace and not our works! Amen 

The winter storm has began to take a hold of the city and its people. I wrapped up some last minute errands yesterday including picking up a prescription  from the pharmacy located near the place I grew up. On my drive home I decide to drive by our now vacant lot on the street I spent my childhood. Nearly 18 years I spent on that block. The street behind where our house stood was an old 3 story craftsman house that was vacant most all the time. When me and my siblings were pre-teens and young teens, we would go into this house and explore it. It sat on the corner of 13th and Bosque Blvd. It was quite a wonder. It had a laundry shoot that went from the 3rd floor to the 1st. It had wide hallways and tall ceilings. It was just a joy to walk around and look up, down and around this place. Yesterday I drove by and the house was raised. How sad it made me feel. I didn't get to see the inside just one more time. I had not the chance to gaze upon its majesty not one more time. I asked my s

Oh Lord my GOD should they that murmur "they do not know GOD; therefore, they do not have a stake in us" be so blinded that they miss the Christ? Be so focused on a covenant that thrice has passed from Abraham to Noah to Moses to David to Jesus LORD of ALL?" that before man there was all truth bound in they who made man in "their"on image? Should such iniquity be? Oh Sovereign and merciful GOD should those who protest say, "They hate your people of those whom you called though bound in transgression and weighed down with sin;" should they be so stiffed neck that love be nothing more to them than that which they approve through law? For they have no stake in Love but only rules? Yes, the law of GOD yet remains which is why law brings suffering. But who are they called to reconcile through Christ to disciple as to walk beside, those who are weak in spirit or those who are strong with demarcated lines? Oh LORD teach us your ways. Deliver us who need deli

It is a rare sight to see this much ice and snow in Central Texas. Soon it will be near 4 degrees with a high in the upper teens. This is the sort of weather I saw in the midwest while living in Iowa. That was some 30 years ago. Time sure does fly. It will be 16 years come April that I have been back in Texas. Moved back here from Brea, California. I miss California. I miss the fruit trees. I miss the pedestrians. I miss the sunshine everyday with the exception of the few rainy days. The folks there would think it was a downpour. But knowing better I called it what it was mist or sprinkles or drizzle. Those Californians were funny. Texas folks are not funny to me,- at least not Central Texas folks. I pity them really. I pity myself for being around them so long. What the hell happened to my free will.

Comforted is the one with fond memories with thoughts of family cherished thoughts of close friends comforted is the one who has waded through the hugs and hand shakes and kisses of a multitude Warm is the heart of those who gathered long hours in love for one another to mourn together to rejoin together as one Glad is the one who cherishes  and gives thanks in all and bares witness the one who knows how fleeting how fleeting the time is the one who holds that gain is loss and loss is gain and everything is everything

If you are here, then you are good enough If are willing, then you are good enough If you can try, then you are good enough If you can give, then you are good enough If you can share, then you are good enough If you can bare, then you are good enough If you can grow, then you are good enough If you can let go, then you are good enough

And those HE Foreknew He Called, and those HE Called He Justified, and Those HE Justified He Glorified. Who knew? Not me. Who heard? Faintly. Conform me to the likeness of Christ. I am trusting!

Pink, I think it was a pink bicycle. But was it for my birthday or Christmas? I can't be for certain. It was small, so I believe I was small. I grew out of it fast, though. I remember my mother with me as I mounted my first bike. It had training wheels. At first sight I noticed it would be safe. But in my little mind, I also wondered if it would be fast. I take off on the little bicycle. It is a bit cumbersome to peddle. My mother is by my side encouraging me. At once I am struck with absolute certainty-- this bicycle is not going as fast as it could. I may have jumped off. I may have still been on the seat. I know for a fact that I demanded in that very instances for the training wheels to be taken off. I am sure I had a fit. I maybe even pitched a fit and flung and flailed my arms and threw my head back and perhaps even shed some tears. I may even have tried to personally with my four or five year old self, remove the training wheels. I wanted them gone. I needed them gone. I dem

Not one drop as I remembered for weeks. A big freeze is coming. It is going to cover most of the United States. It will be here by Wednesday. That is six days away. My newly planted shrubs pine away for water, and the water came today.

Good morning! who are you, now? Oh misery! Well, welcome. Come on in. I can't stay with you here long. I have to get moving. Well, it was nice for you to stop by and remind me that you exist. Please know that it is nothing personal, I will take a bit of time with you, but I can't stay here with you for long. Well, good-bye. Hope your visit with me gave you a chance at acknowledgement, recognition, and acceptance. I will no longer attempt to ignore you. That only sets me back and fills you up. and on that note, I'm off to go hang out with "moving forward." His real name is hope, but I like to call her hopeful.

Looking but rarely seeing hearing but rarely listening Touching but rarely feeling Smelling but rarely sniffing Eating my fruit but rarely truly tasting Living but rarely celebrating Dying but rarely mourned Born again but rarely truly born Standing centuries but rarely asked about my past Rooted deeply spreading through the grass shedding bark and limb and branch and yet continuing to climb always available always giving always groaning to be free

 Papa God so good Papa good Papa great He wonderful He highly praised Papa is so Good He walked with me today He sits with me today He fights for me today He fond of me today He prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemies He done gone before me He with me to day

Out of nowhere the ten year old was moved and shaken everything that could be shaken was shaken in his life he discovered that there were moods and sadness and tears that were in need of consciousness once unaware now overwhelmed make it stop he cries he thinks the pain is trying to tell him it's time to learn to let go begin to  let go