Contempt to Love

One profound take away from my very young self was the degree of contempt that permeated the house in which I grew up. There were other better spirits and attributes, but as the difference is between a flame and a fire, contempt blazed and the other vices glowed. Contempt consumed and the virtues showed themselves in sheer-like fashion like the wardrobed Casper the friendly ghost. Virtues were there, but you had to know them to see them and the darkness had closed in pretty fast by the time I hit the age of accountability.

There is so much pain and sorrow when I attempt to write about my childhood. I told my sister when we where in our early 20's that I wanted to write about our childhood, but I wouldn't do it until our parents were dead. This should have resonated with me deeper then, but it didn't. Why was I so reluctant? Maybe it was the early sowing in of Ephesians Chapter 6 Verse 1-3. Whenever we children would push my mother to a point of her wit's end, she would have us get the bible out and read those 3 verses.

1Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. 2Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) 3That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. KJV

There was a time when we had to recite a bible verse before we ate. We would choose the shortest one after someone alerted us to this verse: Jesus Wept. There was a time we had to say our prayers before we went to bed. "Now I lay Me Down To Sleep; I Pray The LORD My Soul To Keep..." But I can honestly say that those times eroded and by the age of perhaps 9 or 10, it had all but disappeared from our household everyday practice. We no longer sat at the dining room table for daily suppers. We no longer were told to get the bible and go to Ephesians Chapter 6. Things had fallen apart.

I wish I would have read verse 4 more often back then. I would have had something to say to my daddy that might have straighten him out. Or not!

4And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. -KJV

I am ever so grateful now for those years from birth to 10, because without the early sowing of good seed as babes, I know I would not have had the internal fortitude to burst forth into freedom in my middle years. God's timing, right?

My mother was unequally yoked. The contempt that enveloped this house was birthed out of this union of believer with unbeliever. Either state does not guarantee a good heart or a Godly life. I think you can still be a believer and be Judas, right? You can be an unbeliever and do great kindnesses like Rahab. And, all can fall away from faith.

By design the limitations prescribed by unequal yoking would create the extraordinary. By design I still look forward to the unfolding. By design I am still hopeful for more light, and more light and more light. By design breaking is required, smelting is required, by design destruction is required,- shaving off is required, reduction is required. Submission is required. Surrender is required. Love is required.