MJS Creative Landing

All things must come to an end. Today I am ending the chore, the commitment of writing everyday. Well, sort of. I will write, but just not in this space everyday. Blessings~

Huck Hugh the town idiot strapped a pillow case where within was a rubber ball to his head and fashioned himself to prance along the lane and jump down the town's only well. As he went careening down the well, we all hear a loud splash and then a thud.  Rosemary Raspberry delighted in the possibility of having work for her undertaker father. Soon we all hear, "I'm al'right." Huck Hugh uncrumbled himself from the fall. "I rather thought the well was deeper than it is."  Buttercup Buttons darts over with a long rope and drops it down the well to Hugh. "Oh, Dear! Oh, Dear," she exclaims. Buttercup was large and girthy. She is rumored to have lifted the Troptop's cow out of a  ditch single handedly after the rains washed the poor heifer away. The cow, not Buttercup. Rosemary Raspberry's smile soon withers into a frown. She turns back to the mortuary stamping her feet with steady disappointment.  You see her father dotes on her rather lavis...

I had dinner with my sister last night. She has been encouraging me to write along with other folks. I told her I had lots of stuff written. She then goes on to tell me, "well you already should have your book." I agree to just agree. It has been some time since I have had the inner will to pursue writing as a career. I have another blog I pulled up to remind her that there was a time when I wrote about other things that interested me that had facts and references. I guess I just personally stopped believing in the ability to change things with information that must be read.  Here is a post http://changestobelieve.blogspot.com/ I am trying to believe again. Tuesday, March 31, 2009 Mayor Cory Booker article- Listen Waco Here is an example of leadership in a mayoral fashion from our friends to the north. Waco can take some notes. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lanny-davis/the-purple-leadership-of_b_180795.html I have longed to see viable changes and recognizable investments in g...

Under the cover of darkness waves of lush gale winds softly graze my skin the night is apt to give warm hugs for long seconds while I drape myself across the porch swing the dampness in the air does not distract the lightning bugs flash on and off and on and off I am tempted to gather them in jars as we once scurried to do as children Its nice No one is moving about the city streets no random kitties or pups running stray the lights in the sky are as glints in bright eyes of babes Drawn to a long yawn and a curling of the neck and the stretching of the legs fresh rains have cleared and cleansed all places fresh mowed grass fills the evening air the rains and showers will come again soon peace is abounding

Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way was recommended to me about 20 years ago. I spent a few years doing the Morning Pages which is a journal that accompanies the primary book. From what I can tell, I journaled from 2002 to 2005, from 2007 to 2011 and I am going to pick it back up again. Part of the process of the Morning Pages is that you do not go back and re-read what you wrote. It is just a mind dumping process. Dump first thing in the morning onto three pages. You do not judge the writing, the penmanship, the poor grammar or misspelled words or yourself. You just write and close the journal until the next day. I have taken a few of these journals off the shelf, and dare I say I am like, "Who is this person?" Not in a bad way, but there was a freedom in those pages that is not here with me presently. I guess I was so much in need of dumping after 30 years of living that I allowed it all to just fall onto the pages. Like taunt boils or festering wounds, it was easier ...

The Summer of 1981 a 15 year old boy was found after a long and exhaustive search. The young black child was from a good family on the east side of town. He was their only son. The police report said that there were no defensive wounds on the body. Which is odd because he was found locked in a refrigerator. Just being desperate to live would have had me pounding and kicking to try to get free if indeed the fridge closed on me. The officers deduced that he was looking for a warm place to rest since it was a cold night. But the boy was alerted as missing earlier in the afternoon of the day he went missing. Since the Lion's Pool story I am writing will probably included this incident, I am going to try to find out more about this story. The Waco Citizen Newspaper which is not the major paper of the town is the only paper that reported on this story. Again, this leads me to believe that there is more to this story than meets the eye. Supposedly, we local blacks have always told the tal...

 Oh Dear! I do not want to write today. What's that you say? Not Write TODAY? That's right. I said, "I do not want to write today." But you must! Why must I? You must!!! Well, now that you put it like that!!! I guess I must. Trust you must!!! Trust? Yes, Trust! I'd rather fuss! If you must! I will write. Now there! Is this enough!!! Well, maybe! I guess. So there!

EXT: Montage of children running from school bus to houses. Sung playing is sort of like Papa Was A Rolling Stone. INT: Front Porch/Living Room Momma Don't let that door slam. INT: Children dropping bags and running to rooms. Boom! Door slams. Children Any kool-aid? INT: Livingroom Rotary Phone with a finger dialing seven times- two heads get close together to listen. Phone Recording The day is Monday August 4th. The temp is 94 degrees. The time is (click)... Child 2 "It's just 94 degrees!" 2 Children Ahhh Child 4 Ahh Child 4 Let's go get the water hose! EXT: Children run out the door. Someone turns the faucet on as water eases out from both ends of the faucet.The hose springs forth water. Two children run by the water as one child presses a thumb over the spout of the hose. INT: Laughter ensues. A mother looks out the window and smiles at the kids playing. Aunt Tiny You told them you won't take them to the pool until it gets a hundred, huh? Momma They fine ou...

There are all sorts of stories unfolding right now. I have written a few in the past and will write some more in the future, Lord willing. At present this is a story unfolding right before my very eyes. I have yet to go back and fully edit all these posts on this blog or on any of my other blogs. "I am writing," I tell myself; "I am not editing." Be that as it may I think even as we are living we don't get all the editing done. We don't get all the writing done. We try to scratch things out and add things in to our days. We correct ourselves or others or our spaces or other people's spaces. It is the never ending story and the never ending editing and abridging of it all. The adding of footnotes and references and amendments and annotations continue on. As we move along life's journey, I encourage folks to write their stories. Who else is going to tell them the way you see it. Write the best you can. Offer what ever it is that is to be offered. Is is...

Silence. Silence. Silence. Golden. Golden. Golden. Wait. Wait. Wait. Be. Lifted. Be Lifted. Be Lifted. Quiet. Quiet. Quiet. Peaceful. Peaceful. Peaceful. Rest. Rest. Rest. Know. Know. Know. Receive. Receive. Receive. Thankful. Thankful. Thankful. Grateful. Grateful. Grateful. Mercy. Mercy. Mercy. Grace. Grace. Grace. Live. Love. Be.

Trying times! Times are trying for a few people. I share your frustration. I share your anger. I share your befuddlement. I share your grief. I share your lack of understanding. I share your confusion. I know what it's like to be stumped. I share your desire to check out. I share your need to give up. I share your need to check out. I share your desire to live inside your head. I share the need to bury yourself in your bed. I share your need to take a long walk, a long shower, a long nap. I share your thoughts about lighting up, tipping that bottle, or taking that pill. I know what it's like Ms. Celie!!!! Just spoke with my adorable younger cousin who is in the middle of all sorts of drama... husband, in-laws, parents, siblings, teen children, tween children, and life on top of life on top of life. I asked her if her support system is holding up for her in Virginia? She said it is, but she is still exhausted and overwhelmed. I asked her if it was ok for her to feel the way she ...

My tweezers are missing. I am not the one directly responsible for the tweezers being missing. Though often I will hold myself totally responsible for household disasters because I believe that I can and could have overcome any future disaster if I plan for any and all future disasters before they happen. I have that ability, that power, that super power if you will. Like knowing to put my trash can in a closet if a guest brings their dog over. Or, putting up my musical instruments if I expect children over. I observe the behaviors of people and try to pin down their propensities. I study their choices and their shortcomings, the insecurities and those words they like to hear that bring smiles and laughter. I look into their beings as best I can trying to discern how to keep them from disturbing me and my peace of mind. I engage in an intimacy that others are scant aware of, but are the fortunate ones to receive the gift of. I pay attention. I have the skill of attentiveness, care and ...

Before an instrument is played, there is a moment of anticipation. When a hush comes over the room and the breathing begins to still, an inflection point of near silent harmony arises. And then the note comes forth and slowly an exhale slips through the atmosphere. It can be glorious. For some the wait is prolonged and the note seems to never arise into the living breathing world of sight and sound. It tarries, held back in that place where origins are origins and endings don't exist. Stopped from processions and willed to refrain, the notes uninformed yet knowing they are a real something, a creation as a vapor eager to join the chorus of all creatures here below. The in between can be the hardest, though. The in between can lull and rock and disappoint and shock. The in between can turn away or draw one in to contemplative meditation. There is that better place if rest is required before the thing comes. In between can be the calm before the storm. And once it occurs we might be ...

Very random pictures in this video are just filler to avoid a black screen... as I get more comfortable in my skin again, I hope to keep these baby steps up. This song was written over ten years ago. It is a sad song, but I don't fault it for coming to me and hanging out. I am glad to have given "sadness" a safe space.

It has been a very full day. This morning I volunteered at a Habitat for Humanity work site putting up trusses. The cost for these homes has increased 30k since the start of the pandemic. These homes are meant to be affordable, but since the rise in lumber and materials cost has skyrocketed, it will take some doing to actually make these home affordable for the foreseeable future. There was a time when the program could make these zero percent loans at cost homes for an average cost of 65 to 75k. The payoff would span over 18 to 22 years. This allowed for the cost of the home to be repaid at a lower rate over time. The homeowner would essential pay around 350 to 400 dollars a month for mortgage, property taxes and home owners insurance. Now with the prices of lumber at such an outrageous cost, these same homes are averaging 95 to 115k. This means the loans have to be spread out over a longer period of time to keep the homes affordable. Not only that, the need for more financial assista...

Whether sunny or cloudy, whether rainy or breezy when things are going faster and never seems easy when the money is thin and the laughter is few know that this one thing is true I love you I always will til everything in time and space stands still you'll always be the better half of this one over here I love you I love you my dear When all the goods are very short, when nothings bought or sold when everything falls to pieces crumbling still whether here with you today or gone tomorrow know you can't bring me sorrow I love you I always will til everything in time and space stands still you'll always be the better half of this one over here I love you I love you my dear (needs a chorus)

As I returned from my morning walk, I see in the middle of the one way three lane road next to my house a recently deceased by way of tire... squirrel. In the past, kind street walkers have bestowed on me the honor of disposing of dead squirrels hit by vehicles with tossing the road kill into my yard. Not on the easement, but into my yard. So, it was surprising to see that two large buzzards were on my sidewalk when I peeked back outside after a bit that day. Then it dawned on me... they have the squirrel. And indeed they retrieved the squirrel from the road and sat under the shade of the pecan trees that line my easement and dined greatly in the cool of the day. They chose the sidewalk for their meal. They took turns pecking away at the slowly dwindling carcass as I hopped into my car to run an errand. When returning from my short trip, the buzzards were nowhere to be found. I walked down the sidewalk to see the last remains of a fluffy tail and several bones. I head back inside to re...

 He said he is a painter who doesn't paint She said she is a teacher but doesn't  teach How many are the reachers who do not reach Have found a way to hide themselves away complete She said she is a dancer who doesn't dance He said he is a singer who would not sing Who are all of these creators of all good things Afraid to bring The gifts they dare not bring And all of the young daydreamer who dream alone And find there dreams can never ever have a home Who entertain their audience one by one The lucky few Who witness you Go on and sing aloud Be bold and find your crowd Those things you hold so dear Were meant to find Their way out here To bring the joy The light The evergreen The earth The laughter Dew to spring And you will find In time What you set free Was meant to be For all to see (Inspired by 5/11/2021 This Is US Beth line)

Negative self-talk is something I have an ear for. I have had the opportunity to tell a many a new friend when I heard that stuff falling out of their mouths, "No negative self-talk!" I am usually persistent with it. It just hits me in my ear in a bad place. To listen to someone beat themselves up all by themselves is disturbing to me. Why do that? There are so many others in the world who will do a great job of beating you down and beating you up. Why does one of them have to be you. Sometimes if it goes on long enough, I will say something like... can you put the bat down, drop the meat cleaver, take the gloves off, take your hands from around your neck, please. Stop all that negative self-talk. It is harmful not only to you but to me. So if you have someone you know who speaks to themselves in hurtful ways and you hear and witness this, remember to remind them... no negative self-talk. Examples: I'm so stupid! Look what I did again! I'm so dumb! I'm just an idi...

What's Good? A lot of stuff is going on that is so good. I am loving this weather. It will actually be in the 60s this week. We are getting more rain. I have two interviews. My grass is mowed. The weeds have been sprayed. I have over-seeded patchy areas of my lawn. Someone came into my yard yesterday and stole a lamb chop off my BBQ grill. I am almost close to letting that offense go. Almost... What's good? I walked 3 miles today. I had a great yogurt parfait with granola and blueberries and grapes. I have a great collection of Acappella Music playing in the background. Mother's day is behind me. My cousin had her second stage appearance doing standup in Hampton Roads, VA. My cousin in DFW is closing on her house. My sister is getting her writings together because a friend of hers wants to help her get it in order for publishing. My friend is pursuing courses in  Architecture & Interior Design. Momma and Daddy spent mother's day with me and my sister and no drama po...

Can I put you to sleep with a lullaby close ya eyes forget about the tears you cried I'm here by ya side Letting all of the thoughts slowly disappear when you hear all the things you left behind it ain't worth the fear Cause when it all comes down to just one moment in that moment the change you know it is real and all the doubt and shame rolls away from your spirit you can feel it you can feel it Can we walk along the path hand in hand again don't look back straight ahead is our future it is worth the risk Close your eyes lift yourself up let's get moving grab your hat joy is right ahead of you Just take the step now Cause when it all comes down to just one moment in that moment the change you know it is real and all the doubt and shame rolls away from your spirit you can feel it you can feel it na na na nanana na na na naaa na na nanana na nana nanana na nanana na nana na na

A few years back I was going through piles of wood trying to fine a nice plank of pecan or walnut. The plank would the go through the planer and what would be revealed was this stunning piece of wood ready for its transformation into something special. I am ready to get back into wood working. The plan is to build a shop behind my house along with a two car garage apartment. I have it all mapped out on a piece of paper. I know where the 220 plugs need to go. I know where the bathroom will fit best. I have all the outlets lined up. I have the list of tools I am going to purchase. I am excited about this build out. Now, the Lord willing, I will secure employment. At that point I will leverage my equity in my home and get a home improvement loan and get at it. Hope springs eternal. Praying the desires of my heart...

Reflecting on the STAR interview method. I can honestly say that this method sucks. I try to move on with my life and not dwell on the good, the bad or the ugly of it all. I aspire to not keep a record of wrong. I want to improve and get better by building on better foundations, but I don't like having to recall all the drama of engaging with white people along the way. All my jobs have been run and operated by white people. Only my time as a student at the HBCU was I under the leadership of Black folks. This makes a difference for me in these assessments. I can remember nothing but people who had my best interest at heart and the HBCU. They were encouraging and forgiving and looking out for a person. There were the two or three incidents that I won't speak of that were a bit shady and over the top, but for the most part, I didn't look at these folk as anything other than people who cared about people and each other. With the world un-melanin-ated it was all together differ...

 Two blocks up from me Fixer Upper has the street blocked off because the show is shooting a reveal episode. I do not have cable, so I will not be tuned in for this episode. I have been watching this buildout and remodel for a while now. The house is not that big and sits on a pretty tight lot between a house on the corner lot and a row of single story townhomes. The only other house is on the corner closest to me. It sits on a standard lot. Across the street from these homes, much like the block I live on, sits commercial property... A Lawyer's office and The Brazos Education Facility. Cones were set out from early this morning until about 3pm to block the road from people driving down the street. I use this street often to get home because my entrance to my house is on a one way street. I had to go down a block to Austin Avenue and around to avoid the blocked street. Two police offices were stationed at each end with their set of cones... Two real life police officers, not rent-...

Green Go=Stop Light Green Grow=Cabbage Green Glow=Neon Glow Stick Green Blow=Balloon Yellow Peel=Banana Yellow Yield=Yellow light Yellow Kneel=Yellow Ribbon for Loss and Remembering Yellow Reel=Fishing reel Red Stop=Stop sign Red Top=Spinning Top Red pop=Balloon pops Red Drops=Candy drops Blue Pool=Swimming pool Blue Stool=Chair Blue Spool=Thread Blue Ghoul=Ghost

Jean called at 3:45pm to ask if I could pick her up and take her to visit one of her friends she met while living at Stilwell Retirement. Faye had just been moved from the independent community living of Stilwell to this assisted living community out of town. Faye's children reckoned she needed more care since she had just had another fall and damaged her wrist. Supper for Faye was at 5pm so Jean wanted me to pick her up about 5:15pm so we could get in and get out. Jean is 92 years old and is the piano player for our two man crew. We have in the past provided music therapy to Seniors in long term, assisted, memory care and independent living communities. Faye was one of the people who would faithfully be in attendance every other week at Stilwell. She had been longing for Jean to came to visit her at the assisted living care facility she moved to. Since September 2010, Jean has been a part of my life. She encouraged me to sing in front of people. She encouraged me to play instrumen...

He purchased a three dollar scratch-off ticket at the Circle K with his tall generic coffee loaded with sugar and cream. The black late 30 something cashier had dollars on her chest to signify it was her birthday. He gave her a dollar after he asked her to drop it like it's hot. We walked to the van and jumped in. As we waited for the team lead, he began scratching with a brown smooth rock he found while scavenging at the previous worksite. His head was leaned into the card and his focus was intent as if he were six years old in an art class trying to color as hard as he could between the lines. He asked me if I played the lotto. I told him I didn't. I added that gambling was one of my addictions I let go of thirty years ago. He continued scratching. I looked about the parking lot for the lead driver. He was on his way back with several bags and two scratch-offs. The gas tank was filling very slowly. The driver opens the door and announces that he found something better than go...

Essential features of political and sociopolitical life regards games pre-eminently. Look not to the needs of those who day to day would want or need far less for not this distraction, perhaps. But I certainly think this would not dissuade the waste to teeter in other useless areas of glut and greed and avarice.  What lowly self-esteem there is for man. He helps not that so simple of distractions carry him away into rocks that dash and quell the appetite of endless destruction. It feds as long as he is unaware the beast that calls in its muted hush and useless hope. Like the mythical siren they placed them on small islands such as Fight Island and Green Bay or Tampa Bay. And like sheep lead to the slaughter they parade along in mindless fanfare as the thousand year reign drags on in Rome.

Another one of those days when I do not want to write. I want to crawl into bed and sleep the final sleep adrift in peace and crowned in slumber so deep I melt away into the dawn of eternity. Every so often I get the faintest realization of the ultimate solution to every single issue and then it slips from my grasp. But when I am asleep and the answer comes, there are those who are awake with their answers to questions I never asked and never wanted the answer to. Sweet days of youth when belly's rumbling were the only calls and little eyes peering at strange creatures beneath the rafters or under soil rapt in anticipation of who would make the next move. Or even better, the yawns and reaches for tiny toes oblivious to anything possessing you or you possessing anything. Sparks that flared entreating action were for the smallest of necessities. When we all get together, yes, what a day of rejoicing that will be.